(Opinion) With a single glance at Antipoleez, a breath freshener blurbed on several different newscasts, I could see the possibilities. The marketing message promises you can “eliminate alcohol and tobacco breath.” Imagine the implications for a guy like Joe Bob. He can hang out with the boys, slip through the back door at home a few hours late and swear to Mrs. Joe Bob, “Honest! I didn’t have a single drink.” Problem is if Joe Bob’s really been drinking like the missus suspects, he may not be able to find the door, or worse, he might end up down at the local station waiting for her to come bail him out.  Joe Bob may not be by himself in the holding cell area. Chances are there’ll be at least one teen curled up in the corner, waiting on Mom or Dad to come down and read the riot act. Joe Bob and the teen can be considered lucky. They lived to talk about their drinking and driving experience. I know two teens who weren’t so lucky.

Company spokespersons for Antipoleez (whoever they are—there’s no identifying info about owners on the website) issued denials to media they weren’t encouraging people to drive after drinking. According to a Texas TV station, the president of the company is from Switzerland where the wonder tab is manufactured. The domain is registered to RNY Group of Brooklyn, NY.

Said company spokespersons are about as bright as a rusty corkscrew and they apparently consider consumers as dumb as a rusty nail. On the website and packaging, there’s a buxom blond in a blue suit with a tin star, tipping her hat. She resembles a 1950s pinup girl. Admittedly, she does not resemble any of the cops I’ve ever seen, but the branding implication is clear.

The basic message a viewer will come away with is no one—not even the “poleez” will know she or he has been tossing back one too many. Most viewers will not imagine the car swerving horizontally, lane to lane, or a pileup resulting in a victim having to be cut out of a car. Almost no one will imagine the healthcare and public service dollars involved either. I say this as one who enjoys a social drink, by the way, as long as it isn’t done when someone plans to drive a car.

Ironically, the product, if it works as promised, could have enjoyed a completely positive reception. No one wants to smell like a clove of garlic (we love our pizza) or the bottom of an ashtray. Some people, for whatever reason, just have bad breath.  Instead, the company focused completely on the alcohol teaser. If they deny this, they are delusional. The website also features testimonials. One alleged customer thanks Antipoleez, saying, “My children dislike the smell of beer and refuse to come near me.” Photos scrolling on the page above a ‘Don’t drink and drive’ warning show young people, some of whom don’t look old enough to drink alcohol, with a boy holding up his glass like a banner.

This company could’ve used a different strategy and achieved the same results. The current messaging illustrates just how low some will stoop without having to. Here’s a stat to think about, from the Centers for Disease Control: During 2005, 16,885 people in the U.S. died in alcohol-related motor vehicle crashes, representing 39% of all traffic-related deaths (NHTSA 2006). I know of two such teens. They died minutes from my house in an alcohol-related crash. They were far too young for a tombstone. (This is the personal opinion of the columnist and does not necessarily reflect the views of anyone else.)

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